Sober

Being sober is a blessing and a hell at the same time. I like who I am when i'm sober yet I hate myself aswell. I like who im becoming and I hate who I was when I was drinking. I made so many stupid choices and im mad at myself for getting that way. I risked my life and put myself in many at risk of death situations. I\m 2 months sober. I would get black out drunk. I've probably looked like an idiot in front of others so many times. I know thats all in the past now but it still scares me that I could go back to that. I have lots of urges and triggers. Its one second at a time. I try to look more positively at situations that make me tick, I am more aware of myself. My group meetings really help. I'm going to keep attending every week. I learn something new each time that I go, You realize everyone has there story and reasons. I feel stronger after going to the meetings. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I'm 30 years old now time to take charge. I hope I can keep this up.