Insomnia all day all night/Missing my dad

Well i'm seriously glad to have an outlet to write my thoughts out when im having these Insomnia episodes its been for weeks now I go to bed so late only getting about 4-5 hours a night. It really sucks. I'm taking meds and have an apt with a sleep clinic but thats exhausting too haha. Its funny because if no one even reads this I'm laughing at my own self lol glad I'm able to laugh in this moment.

I've just been crying for days now, I cant seem to snap out of it but I think it is normal too with depression and grief mixing together. I really miss my dad. It almost feels like he went on vacation for two months and now its time to return home and things to go back to normal. Wish that could be real but I know its not. Sometimes when I wake up in the morning I still think like oh maybe it was just a bad dream or ive been in some coma :* Its not true though. Grief is definitely one of the hardest things any human has to go through in there lives especially if its someone you were really close too. As you get to know me you will learn more about my dad too. He's always going to be apart of me. Even if it is just writing about him. I feel closer. Like I said in my earlier post of 11:11 I know hes around me sending these little messages. I can feel he is ok and that the other side is much better no suffering no pain. I hope hes running like Rocky now. When my dad went into the hospital we prayed with every single nationality to god to help my dad in times like those you accept all prayers from all back rounds I learned a lot from my dad during his hardest moments. He kept his pride and died a loving father and husband.